Heard this song on FM today. An old favorite this Cliff Richard number. And I couldn't help but wondering that this is exactly how i feel about myself....
As time goes by I propably willMeet a girl and fall in love
Then Ill get married have a wife and a child
And theyll be my turtle doves.
But until then Ill be a bachelor boy and thats the way Ill stay,
Happy to be a bachelor boy,Until my dyin day.
But until then Ill be a bachelor boy and thats the way Ill stay,
Happy to be a bachelor boy,Until my dyin day.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
A Call to Mumbai!!!
Reposting an old post which got lost somewhere. As we enter the dawn of the first anniversary of the bomb blasts in Mumbai, i recall the horrifying experience Bomayites went through on that day. With cell phone networks jammed(the police said they did it to prevent rumours), local trains(the lifeline of Mumbai) out of gear and fear gripping the city, it was probably only the spirit of togetherness which saw the city through. Driving at 12 in the night, with 3 of my female colleagues to be dropped home, I still reckon it to be the worst traffic jam I've ever encountered in my 6 years of stay in the city.
But did the city come to a standstill? It did not. Reams of print have been devoted to this 'never say die' spirit of Bombay. But why did Mumbai not come to a standstill? Not because its fearless but because it had no option. Bombay is not only about the financial conglomerates which operate from here. Bombay is about the vada pav vendor in front of the colleges & stations. About the pav bhaji waala in the chowpathis. About the little devils we call autoricks across the entire stretch of the suburbs. About those in innumerable odd job doers who cannot afford to miss a single day at work.
Can every disaster be passed off as the undying spirit of Mumbai? Will the city ever wake up and say "Enuf is enuf". Will we ever tell our magnanimous CM who commits 50lacs to marathi NRIs(who dont need it) to get his act together. Will the Bombayite stand up and demand a CM who will govern like Narendra Modi or be progressive like Chandrababu Naidu.
Another year passes by. And we will conveniently forget all the victims, their families, their sorrow and say we have moved on. Will we ever learn to remember.....?
But did the city come to a standstill? It did not. Reams of print have been devoted to this 'never say die' spirit of Bombay. But why did Mumbai not come to a standstill? Not because its fearless but because it had no option. Bombay is not only about the financial conglomerates which operate from here. Bombay is about the vada pav vendor in front of the colleges & stations. About the pav bhaji waala in the chowpathis. About the little devils we call autoricks across the entire stretch of the suburbs. About those in innumerable odd job doers who cannot afford to miss a single day at work.
Can every disaster be passed off as the undying spirit of Mumbai? Will the city ever wake up and say "Enuf is enuf". Will we ever tell our magnanimous CM who commits 50lacs to marathi NRIs(who dont need it) to get his act together. Will the Bombayite stand up and demand a CM who will govern like Narendra Modi or be progressive like Chandrababu Naidu.
Another year passes by. And we will conveniently forget all the victims, their families, their sorrow and say we have moved on. Will we ever learn to remember.....?
Of Punchlines!!!
Seen at a local, shabby Chinese joint near Borivali
"Our competitors are only in China"
"Our competitors are only in China"
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Importance of Stamina!!!
"Did you go to the gym"
"Nope! I've been missing gym for some days now"
"Thats bad! You shouldn't do that. Women want men who have good stamina"
"Stamina! For what?"
"Didn't u see Cheeni Kum? How Tabu tests Amitabh's stamina"
"Oh come on. He was 64. I'm less than even half his age"
"But but still. Whats the harm if u develop better stamina. Women get impressed"
"Hmmm... I didnt know that so much goes into wooing women. I think its better to get married to a guy"
"My husband also says the same thing :). Women are complicated"
"Nope! I've been missing gym for some days now"
"Thats bad! You shouldn't do that. Women want men who have good stamina"
"Stamina! For what?"
"Didn't u see Cheeni Kum? How Tabu tests Amitabh's stamina"
"Oh come on. He was 64. I'm less than even half his age"
"But but still. Whats the harm if u develop better stamina. Women get impressed"
"Hmmm... I didnt know that so much goes into wooing women. I think its better to get married to a guy"
"My husband also says the same thing :). Women are complicated"
Bless the Roads!!
She - U know that road leading from my house to Hiranandani? Its bad, terrible!
He - How bad?
She - So bad that if a pregnant woman were to travel on that road, she'll deliver the baby there
itself!!!
And they both burst out laughing
N.B. - Hiranandani is an area near IIT Bombay and is one of the most developed areas too
He - How bad?
She - So bad that if a pregnant woman were to travel on that road, she'll deliver the baby there
itself!!!
And they both burst out laughing
N.B. - Hiranandani is an area near IIT Bombay and is one of the most developed areas too
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
The Corporate World!!!
Two guys were hiking through the jungle when they spotted a tiger that looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nike.
His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"
I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".
Welcome to the corporate world!!
His friend looked at him "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"
I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied. "I just have to run faster than you".
Welcome to the corporate world!!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Innocence!!!
"What will you have for breakfast?"
"Anything. Whatever you give me". The eyes had so much innocence.
"Have you ever tasted Maggi?"
"No"
"Fine, have maggi today"
Next day...
"I liked Maggi. Will you give me again today!!!"
Still the eyes filled with innocence.......
"Anything. Whatever you give me". The eyes had so much innocence.
"Have you ever tasted Maggi?"
"No"
"Fine, have maggi today"
Next day...
"I liked Maggi. Will you give me again today!!!"
Still the eyes filled with innocence.......
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Where the Land meets the Sea!!!
This Sunday was the typical family Sunday which started with lunch at 'Samrat'(Churchgate) and then a trip to the Gateway of India. We also visited Nariman Point & Worli seaface to witness the amazing sight of the fury of the sea with waves lashing against the high walls of the shores. Some snaps which I managed with my cell phone
The gateway has been closed for the monsoons so you can only view it from the promenade
The gateway has been closed for the monsoons so you can only view it from the promenadeThe Taj overlooking the sea
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Of Facts & Fatwas!!!
Read some time back about a fatwa being issued in Egypt. It was regarding working women & was issued by Mabruk Attia, a professor of theology at Egypt's Islamic Al Azhar university and this is how it went -
"Since working women spent time with male co-workers who are unknown people, if they breast fed the male co-worker five times then theres a family bond established and the male is no longer an unknown person. This way the Islamic rule of which forbids an unknown man and a woman from working together is not violated"
Outrageous as it may be, but I could not help from looking at the humourous side of it -
1. The professor who issued that edict, did he have a fetish of breast feeding? And was he refused by his wife?
2. If there are 5 males working with a woman and she goes ahead and honour the fatwa which means breast feeding 5*5 =25 times and then two of them resign and there are 2 new joinees then what? The cycle starts again? What if its an industry with a high turnover rate?
3. Does this also apply to her boss?
4. What if she's in a job which requires a lot of client interaction?
"When you walk into a government building, you should not be shocked to find a 50-year-old civil servant suckling his colleague," the independent daily Al Dustur said ironically after the fatwa was issued.
Well good sense prevailed in the country where the fatwa was denounced and the professor retracted his fatwa. Guess when these people will start treating women as equals!!!
"Since working women spent time with male co-workers who are unknown people, if they breast fed the male co-worker five times then theres a family bond established and the male is no longer an unknown person. This way the Islamic rule of which forbids an unknown man and a woman from working together is not violated"
Outrageous as it may be, but I could not help from looking at the humourous side of it -
1. The professor who issued that edict, did he have a fetish of breast feeding? And was he refused by his wife?
2. If there are 5 males working with a woman and she goes ahead and honour the fatwa which means breast feeding 5*5 =25 times and then two of them resign and there are 2 new joinees then what? The cycle starts again? What if its an industry with a high turnover rate?
3. Does this also apply to her boss?
4. What if she's in a job which requires a lot of client interaction?
"When you walk into a government building, you should not be shocked to find a 50-year-old civil servant suckling his colleague," the independent daily Al Dustur said ironically after the fatwa was issued.
Well good sense prevailed in the country where the fatwa was denounced and the professor retracted his fatwa. Guess when these people will start treating women as equals!!!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Give a Thought to Kashmiri Pandits!!!
Its quite late to talk about this topic as many would say but what compelled me to pen this is the NDTV programme on Kashmiri Pandits last nite. In the war of the nations its the Pandits who have suffered the most. Uprooted from their land, from their heritage, a 'refugee' in their own country with no one to stand by them.
In my view it all started way back during partition. And the one responsible - another Kashmiri Pandit. Yes the first Prime Minister of the country. The dandy, colourful, charismatic personality for whom the Prime Minister's post was more important than the country itself.
- First the partition for which he was equally responsible besides Jinnah.
- Second his refusal for a plebiscite. It was Shyama Prasad Mukherjee's proposal to settle the
people displaced by partition in Kashmir and hold the referendum. Nehru obviously felt
threatened by his growing stature.
That was the beginning of the strife in Kashmir which today is on the verge of being split from the country. The 'Heaven on Earth' has slowly and painfully graduated to 'Hell on Earth'.
90's was the worst time for the Pandits. It was the beginning of the open undeclared war by Islamic fundamentalists for Kashmir and the Pandits became the biggest casualty. Close to 400000 pandits were forced to flee their houses and today live in transit camps across the country.
What went against the Pandits?
1. Too few in number (As per last figure its 700000).
2. Too less representation in politics & power.
3. Even though groups like Panun Kashmir exist still they're not big enough or powerful enough
to make a difference.
4. And ofcourse the apathy of the government.
With so much stacked against them, the Kashmiri Pandits are waging an already lost battle. Pandits have given illustrious personalities to the country. From Aryabhat to Kalidas and Nehru to Karan Singh, Kashmiri Pandits at one point of time represented the upper echelons of the Kashmiri civil service and were the most higly educated members of Kashmiri society.
But years of living in transit camps with a subsistence of as low as Rs. 3200, the Pandits today face a among others some immediate problems which require urgent remedial steps to be taken.
- The community today faces extinction for lack of a base.
- Years of living in unhygenic circumstances in transit camps has taken a toll on the fertility
numbers of the Pandits. The birth rate has significantly reduced.
If today the Pandit takes up arms against the government and society, are they really to blame?
But with the dwindling population, peaceful nature and an insignificant representation, even this is not an option for them.
While writing this piece i thought of many solutions for their plight. In my opinion, the best option would be to relocate them in a state like Uttaranchal or Himachal which is not so densely populated and also lags in education and progress. That will give the Pandits to re-establish them in the mainstream with proper jobs and security and will give them the a platform to continue their fight for their lost land.
In my view it all started way back during partition. And the one responsible - another Kashmiri Pandit. Yes the first Prime Minister of the country. The dandy, colourful, charismatic personality for whom the Prime Minister's post was more important than the country itself.
- First the partition for which he was equally responsible besides Jinnah.
- Second his refusal for a plebiscite. It was Shyama Prasad Mukherjee's proposal to settle the
people displaced by partition in Kashmir and hold the referendum. Nehru obviously felt
threatened by his growing stature.
That was the beginning of the strife in Kashmir which today is on the verge of being split from the country. The 'Heaven on Earth' has slowly and painfully graduated to 'Hell on Earth'.
90's was the worst time for the Pandits. It was the beginning of the open undeclared war by Islamic fundamentalists for Kashmir and the Pandits became the biggest casualty. Close to 400000 pandits were forced to flee their houses and today live in transit camps across the country.
What went against the Pandits?
1. Too few in number (As per last figure its 700000).
2. Too less representation in politics & power.
3. Even though groups like Panun Kashmir exist still they're not big enough or powerful enough
to make a difference.
4. And ofcourse the apathy of the government.
With so much stacked against them, the Kashmiri Pandits are waging an already lost battle. Pandits have given illustrious personalities to the country. From Aryabhat to Kalidas and Nehru to Karan Singh, Kashmiri Pandits at one point of time represented the upper echelons of the Kashmiri civil service and were the most higly educated members of Kashmiri society.
But years of living in transit camps with a subsistence of as low as Rs. 3200, the Pandits today face a among others some immediate problems which require urgent remedial steps to be taken.
- The community today faces extinction for lack of a base.
- Years of living in unhygenic circumstances in transit camps has taken a toll on the fertility
numbers of the Pandits. The birth rate has significantly reduced.
If today the Pandit takes up arms against the government and society, are they really to blame?
But with the dwindling population, peaceful nature and an insignificant representation, even this is not an option for them.
While writing this piece i thought of many solutions for their plight. In my opinion, the best option would be to relocate them in a state like Uttaranchal or Himachal which is not so densely populated and also lags in education and progress. That will give the Pandits to re-establish them in the mainstream with proper jobs and security and will give them the a platform to continue their fight for their lost land.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Training courses are now available for women!!!
Have been reading a few posts on 'Adam Times' and thought that an introductory 'Eve Times' is due :). So here we go with a few basic firsts -
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before!
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
4. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
5. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
6. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging.
7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire!!
8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up!!
9. Introduction to Parking.
10. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space!!
11. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
12. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have.
13. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both!!
14. TV Remotes: For Men Only!!!
P. S. - I did not invest any time or effort to come up with this. This came as a forward from a generous female friend :)
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before!
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
4. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
5. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking.
6. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging.
7. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire!!
8. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up!!
9. Introduction to Parking.
10. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space!!
11. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
12. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have.
13. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both!!
14. TV Remotes: For Men Only!!!
P. S. - I did not invest any time or effort to come up with this. This came as a forward from a generous female friend :)
Amazing Haircut !!!
Just came across this amazing piece of sound work (popularly known as 3D-Sound). Click on the link and hear it using your headphone (its must). Perhaps the effect is better once you close your eyes.
Getting a bit technical, it's a sample of binaural audio, where the two microphones are used to record a stereo track at just the location where your ears are. It's a good example of Holophonics - a form of binaural sound recording using a dummy head arrangement which is best heard on headphones. I bet you would like to listen it more than once.....
http://david- heron.me. uk/blog/2007/ 04/08/virtual- barbershop/
Getting a bit technical, it's a sample of binaural audio, where the two microphones are used to record a stereo track at just the location where your ears are. It's a good example of Holophonics - a form of binaural sound recording using a dummy head arrangement which is best heard on headphones. I bet you would like to listen it more than once.....
http://david- heron.me. uk/blog/2007/ 04/08/virtual- barbershop/
Ways to stop those telemarketing calls!!!
Another interesting forward which came to me.
1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.... louder...louder. ..louder!
7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
8. If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems.... ........."
9. Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?"
When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking.
This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
10. Tell the ICICI call center guy to call on your Office number.- and give him the HSBC call center number.
1. After the telemarketer finishes speaking, ask him/her to marry you.
2. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment, and ask him/her, if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
3. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
4. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
5. Tell them that all business goes through your agent, and hand the phone to your five year old child.
6. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.... louder...louder. ..louder!
7. Tell them to speak very slowly because you want to write every word down.
8. If they start out with, "How are you today?", say "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems.... ........."
9. Cry out in surprise, "Helen, is that you? I've been hoping you'd call! How is the family?"
When they insist they are not Helen, tell them to stop joking.
This works especially well if the telemarketer is really MALE.
10. Tell the ICICI call center guy to call on your Office number.- and give him the HSBC call center number.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Amitabh Unplugged!!!
Was watching ' Don' , the original one, a few days back and couldn't miss the cheeky one liners which used to be the hallmark of most Bachhan movies. Started thinking of all the one liners which have made his movies a treat to watch. Some of them I could recollect -
The Numero Uno -
"Aaj mere paas bangla hai, gadi hai, bank balance hai, tumhaare paas kya hai? "
" Mere paas maa hai!"
The Close Second -
" Aaj khush to bahut hoge tum" Amitabh entering the temple for the first time in life to pray for his mother's life.
Equally Memorable -
"Bhai tum sign karoge ki nahin"
"Jao pehle us aadmi ka sign leke aao ........."
Lots of Self Respect -
" Main aaj bhi pheke hue paise nahin leta"
All the above from the landmark 'Deewar' and have assumed near cult status.
Principles Never Compromised -
" Yeh mera usool hai ki main ghar mein ghus ke hi maarta hoon"
From Shaan
Who Am I -
"Rishtey mein to hum tumhaare baap lagte hai, naam hai Shahenshah"
Who Am I again -
"Vijay Deenanath Chauhan. Baap ka naam Deenanath Chauhan"
This one from Agneepath is memorable for the the dialogue delivery and execution.
Who were they -
"Ek woh chaar they aur ek aap chaar ho"
From Sharaabi
And there are so many of them. Please add up to the list.
The Numero Uno -
"Aaj mere paas bangla hai, gadi hai, bank balance hai, tumhaare paas kya hai? "
" Mere paas maa hai!"
The Close Second -
" Aaj khush to bahut hoge tum" Amitabh entering the temple for the first time in life to pray for his mother's life.
Equally Memorable -
"Bhai tum sign karoge ki nahin"
"Jao pehle us aadmi ka sign leke aao ........."
Lots of Self Respect -
" Main aaj bhi pheke hue paise nahin leta"
All the above from the landmark 'Deewar' and have assumed near cult status.
Principles Never Compromised -
" Yeh mera usool hai ki main ghar mein ghus ke hi maarta hoon"
From Shaan
Who Am I -
"Rishtey mein to hum tumhaare baap lagte hai, naam hai Shahenshah"
Who Am I again -
"Vijay Deenanath Chauhan. Baap ka naam Deenanath Chauhan"
This one from Agneepath is memorable for the the dialogue delivery and execution.
Who were they -
"Ek woh chaar they aur ek aap chaar ho"
From Sharaabi
And there are so many of them. Please add up to the list.
Still Searching!!!
My orkut fortune of the day -
" You and your wife will live a happy life together!!!"
But where's my wife? Probably orkut knows better where to find her. :)
" You and your wife will live a happy life together!!!"
But where's my wife? Probably orkut knows better where to find her. :)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
BMW - Hit & Run!!!
NDTV's recent expose on subversion of the legal system doesn't really come as a surprise to me. The very fact that all the witnesses turned hostile pointed to collusion and power play in all high profile cases.
This ofcourse is not an isolated case. We've had Jessica Lal, Nitish Katara and Priyadarshini Mattoo cases where the rich have used money, muscle and power to subvent the legal system to their advantage. Then again we have so many unknown cases where this happens everyday but never comes to limelight.
Are the rich and powerful the only people responsible. Well I think there are a few more who are responsible -
1. Lawyers like Ram Jethmalani who take up cases of Manu Sharma despite knowing that he's
committed the crime. Now I know conservatives will get up say that every person has a right
to be defended and is not guilty until proven so.
But isn't this exactly the first step towards manupilation of the judicial system. When
renowned counsels take up a case, they have a reputation to keep. A winning habit to
maintain. And thats when witnesses are threatened, coerced or eliminated to strengthen their
case.
Lawyers know everything about their clients. Should there not be a provision for punishing
the counsel if it comes to be known that he/she was aware of their client's involvement in the
the crime?
2. The Politicians - Ah! the favorite punching bag of all. We curse them, cry foul over their
antics but never do anything beyond that. Isn't it time that we start a revolution demanding a
review of the judicial system. Infact a review of the constitution itself.
3. Witnesses like Sayan Munshi. Who despite being influential in the society, turn hostile.
There can be so many other reasons too but these are the ones which come to my mind immediately. Is there a solution in sight?
There is !!! A rovolution. A long due revolution. To herald a new dawn. To revamp the system. To cleanse the mess.
And it starts with me.
This ofcourse is not an isolated case. We've had Jessica Lal, Nitish Katara and Priyadarshini Mattoo cases where the rich have used money, muscle and power to subvent the legal system to their advantage. Then again we have so many unknown cases where this happens everyday but never comes to limelight.
Are the rich and powerful the only people responsible. Well I think there are a few more who are responsible -
1. Lawyers like Ram Jethmalani who take up cases of Manu Sharma despite knowing that he's
committed the crime. Now I know conservatives will get up say that every person has a right
to be defended and is not guilty until proven so.
But isn't this exactly the first step towards manupilation of the judicial system. When
renowned counsels take up a case, they have a reputation to keep. A winning habit to
maintain. And thats when witnesses are threatened, coerced or eliminated to strengthen their
case.
Lawyers know everything about their clients. Should there not be a provision for punishing
the counsel if it comes to be known that he/she was aware of their client's involvement in the
the crime?
2. The Politicians - Ah! the favorite punching bag of all. We curse them, cry foul over their
antics but never do anything beyond that. Isn't it time that we start a revolution demanding a
review of the judicial system. Infact a review of the constitution itself.
3. Witnesses like Sayan Munshi. Who despite being influential in the society, turn hostile.
There can be so many other reasons too but these are the ones which come to my mind immediately. Is there a solution in sight?
There is !!! A rovolution. A long due revolution. To herald a new dawn. To revamp the system. To cleanse the mess.
And it starts with me.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Unforgiven!!!
"Forgiveness is a great virtue! Why don't you forgive her?" She was trying hard to reason.
"Forgiveness is the refuge of cowards! I forgive mistakes but not blunders. I also don't forgive
people who cheat, who take me for granted..." he thundered.
She looked at the rebel in him.
"Times have changed" under her breath.
"Forgiveness is the refuge of cowards! I forgive mistakes but not blunders. I also don't forgive
people who cheat, who take me for granted..." he thundered.
She looked at the rebel in him.
"Times have changed" under her breath.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Camouflaged by Rains!!
He likes the rains. The heavy downpours particularly. Standing all alone while the drops ravage the soil.
The tears flow slowly. And the drops wash them away. Tears of grief, sorrow, melancholy.
These are emotions not to be displayed publicly.
So while the rains camouflage the tears washing away the grief, he returns back to the world he belongs.
No one has an inkling that he also sheds tears.
The tears flow slowly. And the drops wash them away. Tears of grief, sorrow, melancholy.
These are emotions not to be displayed publicly.
So while the rains camouflage the tears washing away the grief, he returns back to the world he belongs.
No one has an inkling that he also sheds tears.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Nonsense Talk!
Do you know what was the menu at mine and your dad's marriage
No. Did u'll invite me to the wedding
Looks like we missed inviting you. Where were you at that time?
Dont remember. Will tell you once I recall :)
No. Did u'll invite me to the wedding
Looks like we missed inviting you. Where were you at that time?
Dont remember. Will tell you once I recall :)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Driving in Bangalore / India
Inspired by the DreamCatcher's post on Traffic jams in Bangalore, I thought of throwing some additional insights on driving in India.
This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert.
For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar , where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.
Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is 'both'. Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.
Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.
Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.
Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.
Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an
automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.
Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often 'mopped' off the tarmac.
Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.
One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a 'speed breaker'; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.
Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.
Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.
This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert.
For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar , where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.
Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is 'both'. Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.
Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.
Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.
Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.
Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an
automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.
Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often 'mopped' off the tarmac.
Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.
One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a 'speed breaker'; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.
Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.
Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Time Flies!!!
Without realising it, I completed 2 years with the organisation on May 16. A mail in the morning from the Global Risk Head & President brought me to the realisation. Phew! Time is deceptive. On some occasions it takes ages for a moment to pass while on others it just flies by. This is what my big bosses wrote to me -
"Congratulations on completing 2 years with FT. All the best. You have been doing a splendid job with us - thanks for all the good work. What else should we be doing to ensure you retire from here?"
Retire from here!!! Too optimistic boss. But let me list out a few things which may lure me -
1. Stock Otptions - $10 millions
2. How about a Rolls? A Lamborghini or BMW will also do?
3. A holiday house in Bahamas or Geneva. Even Mauritius will do.
4. A 10 bedroom sea-facing apartment at Juhu.
5. Atleast a million dollars in bonuses every year.
6. Another million a year in salary.
6. Five premium club memberships.
7. A week's paid holiday every six months to any detination worldwide.
I think I'll stop at it now. The list will become too long. These are just some of the things which will ensure that I retire from here :)
"Congratulations on completing 2 years with FT. All the best. You have been doing a splendid job with us - thanks for all the good work. What else should we be doing to ensure you retire from here?"
Retire from here!!! Too optimistic boss. But let me list out a few things which may lure me -
1. Stock Otptions - $10 millions
2. How about a Rolls? A Lamborghini or BMW will also do?
3. A holiday house in Bahamas or Geneva. Even Mauritius will do.
4. A 10 bedroom sea-facing apartment at Juhu.
5. Atleast a million dollars in bonuses every year.
6. Another million a year in salary.
6. Five premium club memberships.
7. A week's paid holiday every six months to any detination worldwide.
I think I'll stop at it now. The list will become too long. These are just some of the things which will ensure that I retire from here :)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
I'll Cry Instead!!!
The lyrics from "I'll cry instead" have always touched a chord with me. And whenever those sad times come up, I go back to this wonderful Lennon composition to take my grief away. Did Lennon have the gift to see the future? How else would he know that these are exactly the words which express what I feel. No wonder Beatles is my all time favourite band.
Beatles - I'll Cry Instead Lyrics
I've got every reason on earth to be mad,
'cause I've justLost the only girl I had.
If I could get my way, I'd getMyself locked up today,
but I can't so I cry instead.
I've got a chip on my shoulder that's bigger than my feet,
I Can't talk to people that I meet.
If I could see you now,I'd try to make you sad somehow,
but I can't so I cry instead.
Don't want to cry when there's people there,
I get shy whenThey start to stare,
I'm gonna hide myself away, ay hay;
But I'll come back again someday.
And when I do you'd better hide all the girls,
I'm gonnaBreak their hearts all 'round the world.
Yes, I'm gonnaBreak them in two,
and show you what your loving man canDo,
until then I'll cry instead.
Beatles - I'll Cry Instead Lyrics
I've got every reason on earth to be mad,
'cause I've justLost the only girl I had.
If I could get my way, I'd getMyself locked up today,
but I can't so I cry instead.
I've got a chip on my shoulder that's bigger than my feet,
I Can't talk to people that I meet.
If I could see you now,I'd try to make you sad somehow,
but I can't so I cry instead.
Don't want to cry when there's people there,
I get shy whenThey start to stare,
I'm gonna hide myself away, ay hay;
But I'll come back again someday.
And when I do you'd better hide all the girls,
I'm gonnaBreak their hearts all 'round the world.
Yes, I'm gonnaBreak them in two,
and show you what your loving man canDo,
until then I'll cry instead.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Hard Facts!!!
"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first andHonest people are screwed first."
" Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you."
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no Friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."
- Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)
Experience is a Wonderful Thing. It Enables You to Recognise a Mistake, Everytime You Repeat it.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
" Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you."
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no Friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person."
- Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)
Experience is a Wonderful Thing. It Enables You to Recognise a Mistake, Everytime You Repeat it.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wrong Signals!!!
I did a heavy workout yesterday and then sat for long in the steam chamber & the water in the shower was also hot.
Being summers I was only in my shorts once I reached home. Went to the kitchen and all of a sudden mom noticed something and this is the conversation we had.
Mom : What's there on your back?
Me : What?
Mom : Red marks!
Me : Where? Like what?
Mom: Like scratch marks!!
I could detect her tone turning slightly accusing. I looked at her and said "Must be the hot shower"
Thought for a second of telling her that a virgin can't have scratch marks from a coital experience she suspected but then I thought why not allow her thoughts also to drift. It'll be fun to know what she would think of her son.
And then on second thought I realised that its good that I'm not married. Had that been my wife then it would have been hell in the house.
So much for reading wrong signals.
Being summers I was only in my shorts once I reached home. Went to the kitchen and all of a sudden mom noticed something and this is the conversation we had.
Mom : What's there on your back?
Me : What?
Mom : Red marks!
Me : Where? Like what?
Mom: Like scratch marks!!
I could detect her tone turning slightly accusing. I looked at her and said "Must be the hot shower"
Thought for a second of telling her that a virgin can't have scratch marks from a coital experience she suspected but then I thought why not allow her thoughts also to drift. It'll be fun to know what she would think of her son.
And then on second thought I realised that its good that I'm not married. Had that been my wife then it would have been hell in the house.
So much for reading wrong signals.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
All about Shubhojit!!
Blame it on Shreyasi's latest post. I also got inquisitive about myself. And this is what they say :)
Alternatively
I have lovers! Wow!
Shubhojit -- [adjective]: Fuzzy to the touch 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
Alternatively
Shubhojit -- [noun]: A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
 |
| 'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
I have lovers! Wow!
 Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
When the Mountains Called - II
The next day we woke up at 9 and rushed again through our morning chores. By 10.30 we had checked out of the hotel and were on our way to the first destination – Guru Shikhar.
Guru Shikhar
Covering nearly 7 kms of hilly coal tarred road we finally reached Guru Shikhar. At an altitude of 5,676 feet (1722 meters), is the highest point in Rajasthan. Guru Shikhar has an amazing view of Mt Abu and the surrounding peaks.
Before our ascent to the top began we had breakfast. With the altitude, climbing up was difficult and both me and my friend blamed it on the white stick (cigarette). But once we realized that everyone around was panting, it dawned on us that it’s the air pressure which was making breathing difficult. We reached the top of the peak to be welcomed by a cool strong breeze and a beautiful view of the surroundings.
The peak has a temple of Dattatreya, an incarnation of Lord Vishnu. There is a huge brass bell outside the shrine, that overlooks the lush greenery of Mount Abu. A little to the north-west of it is another peak on which stands the shrine of Ahilya, the mother of Dattatreya. The landscape of surrounding plains from the high peaks is simply breathtaking.
On top of Guru Shikhar, The Dattatreya temple and
The carvings on the dome have 3 layers. Each layer represents different sculpture and it has been carved from single stones.
Another interesting factor in the architecture was the domes at the top of the temples. These were built to give an impression to Muslim invaders that it was a mosque. Some foresight :)
Guru Shikhar
Covering nearly 7 kms of hilly coal tarred road we finally reached Guru Shikhar. At an altitude of 5,676 feet (1722 meters), is the highest point in Rajasthan. Guru Shikhar has an amazing view of Mt Abu and the surrounding peaks.
Before our ascent to the top began we had breakfast. With the altitude, climbing up was difficult and both me and my friend blamed it on the white stick (cigarette). But once we realized that everyone around was panting, it dawned on us that it’s the air pressure which was making breathing difficult. We reached the top of the peak to be welcomed by a cool strong breeze and a beautiful view of the surroundings.
The peak has a temple of Dattatreya, an incarnation of Lord Vishnu. There is a huge brass bell outside the shrine, that overlooks the lush greenery of Mount Abu. A little to the north-west of it is another peak on which stands the shrine of Ahilya, the mother of Dattatreya. The landscape of surrounding plains from the high peaks is simply breathtaking.
On top of Guru Shikhar, The Dattatreya temple and The Huge Bell
There’s another temple below which looks magnificent from the top. My colleague in office commented that it looked like the temple in the movie "Border".
We were racing against time since I had to take a train from Ahmedabad back to Mumbai so we decided to skip a few not so important sites and head straight for the world famous Delwara Temples .
Delwara Temples
We had to deposit our cameras and cell phones at the locker room since photography was strictly prohibited. The temple opens at 7 in the morning for Jains and at 12 noon for the general public.
The Delwara temples were built between 11th and 13th century AD and dedicated to Jain Tirthankaras. The temple is a cluster of 5 temples of which the Vimal Vashi temple is the oldest. There’s an interesting fable as to how the name Delwara came to be.
"During the time the temple was being constructed, the scrap used to be accumulated at the end of the day and thrown out. Using that scrap the local artists created another temple which was bigger than the original ones. Since these artists worked from their heart i.e "Dil Se" and not for money it came to be known as "Dilwala" which in Gujrati translates to ‘Delwara’!”
These temples are one the finest examples of ancient Indian Temple Architecture. Built in marble and chiselled to perfection, the carvings rivals that of the more illustrious "Taj Mahal". The image below has been taken from www.mountabu.com and just illustrates a bit of the beauty and elegance of the carvings.
The carvings on the dome have 3 layers. Each layer represents different sculpture and it has been carved from single stones.
Another interesting factor in the architecture was the domes at the top of the temples. These were built to give an impression to Muslim invaders that it was a mosque. Some foresight :)
After the hugely satisfying trip to Delwara and some shopping too we finally took off for Ahmedabad. Stopped in between for a beer and light lunch. Once we left the mountains we realised how hot it was outside. The drive back to Ahmedabad was not so eventful except when a monkey appeared all of a sudden to cross the road and we had to brake really hard to avoid hitting the our simian ancestor :).
Back to office on Monday in the grind of life, I still wait for another call from the mountains.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
What an addiction!!!
You thought smoking, drinking (not water) etc.. are addictions.... Read through and you will be enlightened !!!
A retired corporate executive decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... until the boat sank!
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing -- just bananas and coconuts.
After many months of isolation, he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from! ? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branch and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable, ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few hours of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls out off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"
"No. No, thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and flowers strategically positioned, and smelling of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months?" She stares into his eyes and takes his hand in hers...
He can't believe what he's hearing. He swallows excitedly, tears start to form in his eyes, and he says,
Scroll down ....
-
-
-
-
-
-
you mean... I can check my e-mail from here?"
A retired corporate executive decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life... until the boat sank!
He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing -- just bananas and coconuts.
After many months of isolation, he is lying on the beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from! ? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branch and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable, ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware." The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says. After a few hours of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls out off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?"
"No. No, thank you," he says, still dazed. "Can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.
After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines and flowers strategically positioned, and smelling of gardenias.
She beckons for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months?" She stares into his eyes and takes his hand in hers...
He can't believe what he's hearing. He swallows excitedly, tears start to form in his eyes, and he says,
Scroll down ....
-
-
-
-
-
-
you mean... I can check my e-mail from here?"
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
When the Mountains Called - I
This weekend me and my ex roomie took off for Mt. Abu after planning it for almost a year now. We had always been very good at planning trips but execution somehow was never our forte`:). We flew to Ahmedabad by the much delayed SpiceJet flight and finally slept at 3.30 in the morning hoping to wake up at 9.00 am.
We finally woke at 10 and after rushing through the basic chores left house at 11.00 for some breakfast. There was a bakery right in front of the apartment. Now Ahmedabad is a much vegetarian place and just to see the expression on the shopkeeper’s face I asked for a ‘chicken pattie’. The look on his face was as if I had committed blasphemy. I enjoyed it thoroughly :). Finally we settled for a veg pattie. The guy smashed the pattie and put some red chutney in it as if he were preparing ‘aloo chat’.
Around 11.30 we took off in the ‘Alto’ which I found a bit too cramped after being so much used to the Santro. As we drove, I couldn’t stop admiring the infrastructure in Gujarat. Broad roads perfect for driving, trees planted by the pathway across the entire stretch of the highway, no potholes, construction activity in full swing. Explains well why Gujarat is becoming the most favoured investment destination. Narendra Modi, for all the media may paint him to be, has done a lot of good for Gujarat and people swear by him. Another thing which I noticed was the temples. Most of them are built on identical architecture similar to the image below. And all of them are huge.
Driving was fun & we stopped at an abandoned shop, which had a cot outside under a thatched roof, just for fun. Stretching on the cot puffing on the cigarette reminded me of the hostel days. Again the drive started. After an hours drive we came to the end of Gujarat and entered Rajasthan. The unmistakable wine shop was present right thereJ. Then after another hour we could see the outlines of the hills faraway. The destination was not far! We reached Abu Road & then the foothill of the Aravalis. The treacherous terrain of Mt Abu had begun.
The Long & Winding Road
We finally woke at 10 and after rushing through the basic chores left house at 11.00 for some breakfast. There was a bakery right in front of the apartment. Now Ahmedabad is a much vegetarian place and just to see the expression on the shopkeeper’s face I asked for a ‘chicken pattie’. The look on his face was as if I had committed blasphemy. I enjoyed it thoroughly :). Finally we settled for a veg pattie. The guy smashed the pattie and put some red chutney in it as if he were preparing ‘aloo chat’.
Around 11.30 we took off in the ‘Alto’ which I found a bit too cramped after being so much used to the Santro. As we drove, I couldn’t stop admiring the infrastructure in Gujarat. Broad roads perfect for driving, trees planted by the pathway across the entire stretch of the highway, no potholes, construction activity in full swing. Explains well why Gujarat is becoming the most favoured investment destination. Narendra Modi, for all the media may paint him to be, has done a lot of good for Gujarat and people swear by him. Another thing which I noticed was the temples. Most of them are built on identical architecture similar to the image below. And all of them are huge.
Driving was fun & we stopped at an abandoned shop, which had a cot outside under a thatched roof, just for fun. Stretching on the cot puffing on the cigarette reminded me of the hostel days. Again the drive started. After an hours drive we came to the end of Gujarat and entered Rajasthan. The unmistakable wine shop was present right thereJ. Then after another hour we could see the outlines of the hills faraway. The destination was not far! We reached Abu Road & then the foothill of the Aravalis. The treacherous terrain of Mt Abu had begun. The Long & Winding RoadAll of 18 kms it was an amazing drive. Flanked by the mountains on both sides, we could feel the air pressure decreasing as our eardrums started throbbing. The wild life protection signposts were put up on both sides. We switched off the AC since the weather had become very pleasant. Have to admit, the entire path has been wonderfully maintained. Finally at 1600 hours we reached our hotel, “The Hillock”. The ambience at the hotel was good being one of the better hotels in that place. The hospitality was admirable. I remembered that Rajasthan is famous for its hospitality. We had driven non stop not stopping for lunch too. Once we had checked into our rooms we went down to the coffee shop for the much required beer and lunch.
The Evening
Tired from the long drive and with the beer taking its effect, we overslept. When we got up it was 1900 hours already. We rushed and were out with our car and reached the first destination, “Nakki Jheel”. Pleasant surrounding although boating stops at 6 in the evening. The lake wasn’t anything out of the world but what made it attractive was the garden with a fountain at the periphery.
The Evening
Tired from the long drive and with the beer taking its effect, we overslept. When we got up it was 1900 hours already. We rushed and were out with our car and reached the first destination, “Nakki Jheel”. Pleasant surrounding although boating stops at 6 in the evening. The lake wasn’t anything out of the world but what made it attractive was the garden with a fountain at the periphery.
Then started our shopping. Amazed at my bargaining skills and the variety of choices my friend commented that “Looks like you are shopping too much with women” :). Brought quite a few handicrafts, hand carved decoratives, kurtas, a saree for mom and most of it from the government owned Rajasthan emporium.
By the time we returned to the hotel it was almost midnight and the restaurant was closing down. We ordered our drinks and dinner to be delivered to our room.
We enjoyed the drink watching Brian Lara play his final one-day match. A win would have been just the perfect farewell for this wonderful player. By the time we went to bed it was 3 in the morning. A day well spent. Tomorrow awaited for more of Mt Abu.
Will write more on the sight seeing, Guru Shikhar and Delwara Temples in part 2.
By the time we returned to the hotel it was almost midnight and the restaurant was closing down. We ordered our drinks and dinner to be delivered to our room.
We enjoyed the drink watching Brian Lara play his final one-day match. A win would have been just the perfect farewell for this wonderful player. By the time we went to bed it was 3 in the morning. A day well spent. Tomorrow awaited for more of Mt Abu.
Will write more on the sight seeing, Guru Shikhar and Delwara Temples in part 2.
Friday, April 20, 2007
A hard day's night !!!
Driving in second gear he lets out expletives and curses aloud.
Honk honk!
Damn the rickshaw fellow & theres one following his car too. He brakes hard but the guy behind has been slow in his reflexes.
Thud! came the sound!
Muttering more curses he get out of the car to check the damage done but instead heads straight for the guy and pulls him out of the rick.
Thap!
The sound could not be dimmed by all the honking around. The guy is standing with his hands folded anticipating another one. He remembers to check his car. No damage done. That cools him a bit.
Cant you'll drive carefully, he shouts. And then back to his car.
He has been considered as the 'patient one'. Never losing his cool in the most adverse of circumstances. But the events in his life seem to be taking its toll on him.
Honk honk!
Damn the rickshaw fellow & theres one following his car too. He brakes hard but the guy behind has been slow in his reflexes.
Thud! came the sound!
Muttering more curses he get out of the car to check the damage done but instead heads straight for the guy and pulls him out of the rick.
Thap!
The sound could not be dimmed by all the honking around. The guy is standing with his hands folded anticipating another one. He remembers to check his car. No damage done. That cools him a bit.
Cant you'll drive carefully, he shouts. And then back to his car.
He has been considered as the 'patient one'. Never losing his cool in the most adverse of circumstances. But the events in his life seem to be taking its toll on him.
Comfortably numb!!!
He sat back reflecting on the month gone by. Hopes, aspirations, dreams all have come to nought. Why do sensible people like me listen to the heart, he wondered. The pain is agonisingly unbearable for him. And despite people thinking that he has everything in life he knows that "if you don't have love in you life then no matter whatever else you have, its never enough". But its been like this for him always. And now pain is his companion. It does not hurt anymore. Its a sign that he's also become 'comfortably numb'!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
My Hidden Talent :)
| Your Hidden Talent |
 |
Is the Youth Disturbed!
Shocking!!! is how I would react to yesterdays killing at the Virginia University. 33 dead including a professor of Indian origin, an Indian student and still counting. This is not the first incident of its kind in the US. Leaves me thinking, whether the so called developed world is really developed after all!
This wasn't the first incident of a gunman going berserk. Its happened before in the same country. There are some other incidents which come to my mind.
1. Online chatters in a suicide chat room encouraging a man to commit suicide live. That such
chat rooms exist, is reason enough to believe that theres something seriously wrong.
2. Paedophiles exchanging views & snaps & graphic description on the chat.
3. Incest chat rooms discussing sex with close relatives, parents, siblings. They're even talking
about a legislation making incest no longer a crime.
4. Date rapes. Websites promoting date rape drugs.
Where is the youth headed? While we have never really experienced shooting rampages, like the one at Virginia, in India, its no reason to believe that it will not happen in the near future. We already have suicides happening on the IIT campuses.
- Why do children spend more time on video games than on cricket,soccer,badminton?
- Why does the youth believe in making friends online than going out & meeting people?
- If US is a developed country, why do citizens require guns? And why are firearms so easy to
get there?
- Why do parents spend more time at work than with children?
- Why do children never get to hear a no from parents
These are just a few questions which come to my mind. But the point I'm trying to make here is that the society is changing. Our value system is undergoing a huge change. Adultery, pre-marital sex, infidelity, divorce considered alien 30 years back is rampant nowadays. Are these really a sign of a progress? Or the side effects of economic development? They say that economic prosperity shakes the value fabric of the society.
Till the time we realise the value of sustained growth, till the time we realise the importance of social values, till the time we realise the significance of family bonding such incidents will continue to happen.
Who knows that the next incident of a student going on a shooting spree in the campus may be at one of the IITS? Hope not!
This wasn't the first incident of a gunman going berserk. Its happened before in the same country. There are some other incidents which come to my mind.
1. Online chatters in a suicide chat room encouraging a man to commit suicide live. That such
chat rooms exist, is reason enough to believe that theres something seriously wrong.
2. Paedophiles exchanging views & snaps & graphic description on the chat.
3. Incest chat rooms discussing sex with close relatives, parents, siblings. They're even talking
about a legislation making incest no longer a crime.
4. Date rapes. Websites promoting date rape drugs.
Where is the youth headed? While we have never really experienced shooting rampages, like the one at Virginia, in India, its no reason to believe that it will not happen in the near future. We already have suicides happening on the IIT campuses.
- Why do children spend more time on video games than on cricket,soccer,badminton?
- Why does the youth believe in making friends online than going out & meeting people?
- If US is a developed country, why do citizens require guns? And why are firearms so easy to
get there?
- Why do parents spend more time at work than with children?
- Why do children never get to hear a no from parents
These are just a few questions which come to my mind. But the point I'm trying to make here is that the society is changing. Our value system is undergoing a huge change. Adultery, pre-marital sex, infidelity, divorce considered alien 30 years back is rampant nowadays. Are these really a sign of a progress? Or the side effects of economic development? They say that economic prosperity shakes the value fabric of the society.
Till the time we realise the value of sustained growth, till the time we realise the importance of social values, till the time we realise the significance of family bonding such incidents will continue to happen.
Who knows that the next incident of a student going on a shooting spree in the campus may be at one of the IITS? Hope not!
Friday, April 13, 2007
A few good reasons to drink!
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your ……….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your ……….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
Another Birthday flew by!
Another year went by. Another year got added to my life. Well I definitely like to think that April 11 is the greatest day in the world since I graced the earth on this day. My mom tells me that even while entering the world I gave her a shock by not breathing for the first 3 minutes. Wow! now that is something. At that age or infact no age at all I came with my yoga lessons perfected :)
Yes it feels good to be pampered by all on your birthday. The wishes, the gifts, the love and ofcourse the cake. My team left no efforts to make it memorable for me. The decoration was awesome. Mom, as always, had the wonderful dinner ready. And to top it the 'payesh' or 'kheer' as we say in Hindi. The bouquets & chocolates sent by my special friend made it even better. My neighbours 5 year old doll gifted a wonderful, self made painting for her 'Chachu'.
In between all this, I got a voicemail on my office landline from Ms Anonymous wishing me and telling me that she'll wait for my call. Am still wondering who that could be?
But also realised, as someone said, "Never make someone a priority in ur life when you are just an option for them". Despite the day being wonderful there still was a void. The call I was expecting from someone never came.
But no complaints thanks to all my friends, my office colleagues & definitely Mom.
Below are the images of how my desk looked like.
Yes it feels good to be pampered by all on your birthday. The wishes, the gifts, the love and ofcourse the cake. My team left no efforts to make it memorable for me. The decoration was awesome. Mom, as always, had the wonderful dinner ready. And to top it the 'payesh' or 'kheer' as we say in Hindi. The bouquets & chocolates sent by my special friend made it even better. My neighbours 5 year old doll gifted a wonderful, self made painting for her 'Chachu'.
In between all this, I got a voicemail on my office landline from Ms Anonymous wishing me and telling me that she'll wait for my call. Am still wondering who that could be?
But also realised, as someone said, "Never make someone a priority in ur life when you are just an option for them". Despite the day being wonderful there still was a void. The call I was expecting from someone never came.
But no complaints thanks to all my friends, my office colleagues & definitely Mom.
Below are the images of how my desk looked like.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Some Practical Jokes
The other day I went to KFC for a takeaway. The guy standing in front of me asked the person at the counter for a "Rava Dosa". I tried hard to suppress a laughter while the guy at the counter very patiently told him that KFC does not sell dosas and certainly not a 'rava dosa'. As the guy left we both broke into huge peals of laughter.......
Then there was this guy at the pub who was probably a first timer and didn't booze. Very innocently,while his friends ordered their drinks, asked for a, hold your breath, "Malai Lassi". Well that was it. Everyone who heard it including his own friends burst out laughing.Poor guy...Always see the menu before you order something :)
Some years back, one of the days it was raining hard in the morning. I was waiting for the rain to subside when one of the guys offered me a lift in his, ahem, Sonata to the bus stop. You should have seen the expression of the people at the bus stop as I got down from the Sonata and effortlessly walked into the BEST bus.
We do come across so many such incidents which gives us a reason to laugh while taking away the stress and tensions which engulf our lives.
Then there was this guy at the pub who was probably a first timer and didn't booze. Very innocently,while his friends ordered their drinks, asked for a, hold your breath, "Malai Lassi". Well that was it. Everyone who heard it including his own friends burst out laughing.Poor guy...Always see the menu before you order something :)
Some years back, one of the days it was raining hard in the morning. I was waiting for the rain to subside when one of the guys offered me a lift in his, ahem, Sonata to the bus stop. You should have seen the expression of the people at the bus stop as I got down from the Sonata and effortlessly walked into the BEST bus.
We do come across so many such incidents which gives us a reason to laugh while taking away the stress and tensions which engulf our lives.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Hail Supreme Court!!!
The Supreme Court decision yesterday putting a stay on reservations came as a much needed relief. But the reaction from the political parties makes me sceptical as to how long this stay will be allowed to continue. It wont be long before our very revered PM decides to come up with a legislation overruling the Supreme Court decision.
Well, Lalu's(the champion of social justice) & Karunanidhi's(the one eyed monster) statement does not really come as a surprise. Heard that the DPA has also called for a Tamil Nadu bandh on March 31 to protest against the ruling. Oh Mr. Karunanidhi!! Wasn't it you who said some months back that Karnataka should not protest against the Cauvery water ruling. Gosh!!! Where's the country going??
But listen to what our Comrade Prakash Karat has to say "The ruling is unfortunate and uncalled for". The CPI terms the judgement as 'retrograde'.
Ah Comrade! Nandigram & Singur are absolutely fortunate and called for. Is that what you mean to say.
Well I think it's time now for people like us to start entering the political system. Else the idiots we have been bestowed with as politicians will really kill the nation.
Hail the Supreme Court judgement.
Well, Lalu's(the champion of social justice) & Karunanidhi's(the one eyed monster) statement does not really come as a surprise. Heard that the DPA has also called for a Tamil Nadu bandh on March 31 to protest against the ruling. Oh Mr. Karunanidhi!! Wasn't it you who said some months back that Karnataka should not protest against the Cauvery water ruling. Gosh!!! Where's the country going??
But listen to what our Comrade Prakash Karat has to say "The ruling is unfortunate and uncalled for". The CPI terms the judgement as 'retrograde'.
Ah Comrade! Nandigram & Singur are absolutely fortunate and called for. Is that what you mean to say.
Well I think it's time now for people like us to start entering the political system. Else the idiots we have been bestowed with as politicians will really kill the nation.
Hail the Supreme Court judgement.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Wait!!
The phone beeps again. Another message.
Anticipation running high, he presses the key. This time it has to be her message.
"You've just been registered for free CitiAlerts. To unsubscribe send a messge to *****"
"Damn!!!" he cries out.
And the wait continues......
Anticipation running high, he presses the key. This time it has to be her message.
"You've just been registered for free CitiAlerts. To unsubscribe send a messge to *****"
"Damn!!!" he cries out.
And the wait continues......
Amusing Corporate Lingos!!1
1."We will do it" means" You will do it"
2."You have done a great job" means" More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!".
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views "means" I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication " means" We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means" We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means" Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means" Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means," Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means," I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17."All the Best" means" You are in trouble"
2."You have done a great job" means" More work to be given to you"
3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working on the same"
4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" Its not getting done "At least not tomorrow!".
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views "means" I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6."There was a slight miscommunication " means" We had actually lied"
7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time now, will talk later"
8."We can always do it" means" We actually cannot do the same on time"
9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We had actually fought"
11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means" Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12."You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
13."We need to find out the real reason" means" Well I will tell you where your fault is"
14."Well Family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected," means," Well you know..."
15."We are a team," means," I am not the only one to be blamed"
16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17."All the Best" means" You are in trouble"
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
A quiz for Sardar!!!
Sardarji is in a Quiz Contest trying to win prize money of Rs.1crore.
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the OctoberRevolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.
SCROLL DOWN....... - -- --
If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar'sreplies, then please check the answers below:
1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed hisname.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which meansislands of the puppies.
Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again. :)
The questions are as follows:
1) How long was the 100 yr war?
A) 116
B) 99
C) 100
D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"
2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL
B) CHILE
C) PANAMA
D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students
3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the OctoberRevolution?
A) JANUARY
B) SEPTEMBER
C) OCTOBER
D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public
4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER
B) ALBERT
C) GEORGE
D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards
5) The Canary islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD
B) KANGAROO
C) PUPPY
D) RAT
Sardar gives up.
SCROLL DOWN....... - -- --
If u think you are indeed clever and laughed at Sardar'sreplies, then please check the answers below:
1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed hisname.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which meansislands of the puppies.
Don't ever laugh at a Sardar again. :)
Names do Matter!!!
"I'm going to take the 3.39pm local from Andheri and get down at C D Deshmukh station"
Hey wait! What's this C D Deshmukh station? Some new station they carved out? And why this name?
Buddy, didn't you know that Churchgate is being rechristened as C D Deshmukh station.
What? Why? But what's wrong with the name Churchgate? Its been like that for ages. And who's C D Deshmukh?
Exactly! Churchgate has been like that for ages. And the government thinks it smacks of a colonial lineage. And since we are stressing the need for self dependency, thats why it needs to be changed. And don't you know who Chintaman Dwarakanath Deshmukh is? He was the first Indian Governor of the Reserve Bank of India. He later became the Union Finance Minister. In recognition of his meritorious services to the Reserve Bank and the nation and in order to perpetuate his memory, the Reserve Bank of India has instituted an annual lecture series entitled 'Chintaman Deshmukh Memorial Lectures'.
Hasn't RBI done enough to preserve his legacy? Why do we need to rename Churchgate after him? Why not after someone who has worked for the service of the downtrodden? Worked for social upliftment?
You don't understand politics mate! You're quite naive in these matters. Renaming it after a social worker never guarantees you additional votes. And additionally any person who's worked for the poor would have always been on a collision course with the govt for its anti poor policies. Renaming a place after such a person would amount to the govt acknowledging that its policies were wrong.
Hardly matters to me. Churchgate will forever remain 'Churchgate' to me. Come what may. Isn't the name reflective of such a grand history. Memories for countless people. Its an integral part of the city and all what the city stands for. Wouln't foreigners have so much difficulty pronouncing the new name. No its going to be Churchgate for me always.
So it will be for me buddy. Like CST is VT to me even today. Mumbai is Bombay. Kolkatta is Calcutta. Bengaluru is Bangalore. It never changes.
Hey wait! What's this C D Deshmukh station? Some new station they carved out? And why this name?
Buddy, didn't you know that Churchgate is being rechristened as C D Deshmukh station.
What? Why? But what's wrong with the name Churchgate? Its been like that for ages. And who's C D Deshmukh?
Exactly! Churchgate has been like that for ages. And the government thinks it smacks of a colonial lineage. And since we are stressing the need for self dependency, thats why it needs to be changed. And don't you know who Chintaman Dwarakanath Deshmukh is? He was the first Indian Governor of the Reserve Bank of India. He later became the Union Finance Minister. In recognition of his meritorious services to the Reserve Bank and the nation and in order to perpetuate his memory, the Reserve Bank of India has instituted an annual lecture series entitled 'Chintaman Deshmukh Memorial Lectures'.
Hasn't RBI done enough to preserve his legacy? Why do we need to rename Churchgate after him? Why not after someone who has worked for the service of the downtrodden? Worked for social upliftment?
You don't understand politics mate! You're quite naive in these matters. Renaming it after a social worker never guarantees you additional votes. And additionally any person who's worked for the poor would have always been on a collision course with the govt for its anti poor policies. Renaming a place after such a person would amount to the govt acknowledging that its policies were wrong.
Hardly matters to me. Churchgate will forever remain 'Churchgate' to me. Come what may. Isn't the name reflective of such a grand history. Memories for countless people. Its an integral part of the city and all what the city stands for. Wouln't foreigners have so much difficulty pronouncing the new name. No its going to be Churchgate for me always.
So it will be for me buddy. Like CST is VT to me even today. Mumbai is Bombay. Kolkatta is Calcutta. Bengaluru is Bangalore. It never changes.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Man's Folly or God's???
"God is either an Abstraction or a Failed Genius of our Times. If the Former is True, then God is Man's Biggest Folly. If the Latter is True, then Man is God's Biggest Folly." So proclaims the well known quizzer Dhananjay Shettigar as a footnote on his mails.
It really drove me to think hard on this. As far as I know, I've never really been that much of a believer. But still, when in distress, I do call out saying "Help me God!". Is this because the faith in Him has been ingrained so deep into us since childhood? Or perhaps its because we live on hope. And the presence of someone supreme gives us hope.
If its really man's folly, then we truly live in a stupid world where most of the unrest is because of religion which boils down to God. Lets tell all those jehadis that the very reason they're fighting for does not exist. And if its God's folly, then since he's a failed genius, theres no reason again to fight in his name.
But whether man's folly or God's, as long as belief in Him gives us hope of good things to come in life, then let man continue to live with this folly !!!
It really drove me to think hard on this. As far as I know, I've never really been that much of a believer. But still, when in distress, I do call out saying "Help me God!". Is this because the faith in Him has been ingrained so deep into us since childhood? Or perhaps its because we live on hope. And the presence of someone supreme gives us hope.
If its really man's folly, then we truly live in a stupid world where most of the unrest is because of religion which boils down to God. Lets tell all those jehadis that the very reason they're fighting for does not exist. And if its God's folly, then since he's a failed genius, theres no reason again to fight in his name.
But whether man's folly or God's, as long as belief in Him gives us hope of good things to come in life, then let man continue to live with this folly !!!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Why we take up Smoking
While driving back home yesterday I lit up a cigarette as usual. My colleague Ash asked me an interesting question, "Even though you were brought up with good values, lots of love and proper attention, still you took up smoking. What went wrong?"
I should say that I was startled for a moment. But then I realised its all a matter of perception. To me theres nothing wrong in smoking. Its a conscious decision that you take despite all the warnings written on the packet.
If I remember, I always wanted to take up smoking since my teens. My dad never touched the fag. So probably that was the reason I was even more attracted towards it. While on the other hand some of my friends, whose dads used to smoke, had an aversion to it.
Then again I saw the people from my native state, Bengal, never really considered smoking to be such a vice. Thats why the joke goes that "if you don't smoke, you are not a bong". But I never had such liberties since I am through and through a NRB(Non Resident Bong) with no connections whatsoever to the bong land. But all said and done, what surprises me most is the perception of some extremists (so I call them) towards smoking. "Lack of character" they say.
Oh me Gawd!!!! Come on! Gimme a break!! You must be crazy!!! Your very thought pattern itself is flawed! Well these are just some of the statements that would come to my mind if someone says that. But believe me, there are actually a few who belong to that category of extremists.
Well I would never sing paens to smoking. If it can be avaoided, it should. But for me, the white stick is a source of comfort. While I know well that its not really good for health. I realise it more when I run on the treadmill. But, like many others, I've never made New Year resolution to quit smoking and then take it up after a couple of weeks with a vengeance. If I quit, then I will do it for once and for all.
Till then - " Main Jindagi ka saath nibhaata chala gaya,
Har fiqr ko dhueyen mein udata chala gaya"
I should say that I was startled for a moment. But then I realised its all a matter of perception. To me theres nothing wrong in smoking. Its a conscious decision that you take despite all the warnings written on the packet.
If I remember, I always wanted to take up smoking since my teens. My dad never touched the fag. So probably that was the reason I was even more attracted towards it. While on the other hand some of my friends, whose dads used to smoke, had an aversion to it.
Then again I saw the people from my native state, Bengal, never really considered smoking to be such a vice. Thats why the joke goes that "if you don't smoke, you are not a bong". But I never had such liberties since I am through and through a NRB(Non Resident Bong) with no connections whatsoever to the bong land. But all said and done, what surprises me most is the perception of some extremists (so I call them) towards smoking. "Lack of character" they say.
Oh me Gawd!!!! Come on! Gimme a break!! You must be crazy!!! Your very thought pattern itself is flawed! Well these are just some of the statements that would come to my mind if someone says that. But believe me, there are actually a few who belong to that category of extremists.
Well I would never sing paens to smoking. If it can be avaoided, it should. But for me, the white stick is a source of comfort. While I know well that its not really good for health. I realise it more when I run on the treadmill. But, like many others, I've never made New Year resolution to quit smoking and then take it up after a couple of weeks with a vengeance. If I quit, then I will do it for once and for all.
Till then - " Main Jindagi ka saath nibhaata chala gaya,
Har fiqr ko dhueyen mein udata chala gaya"
Monday, March 19, 2007
Whose nemesis will this World Cup be?
Bob Woolmer dead? Inzamam retires from One Day Internationals. Sad beginning to the World Cup? Pakistan crash out of the World Cup. India lose convincingly to the minnows Bangladesh. van Bunge clobbered for 6 sixes in an over by Gibbs. Johnnie Walker forced to donate $1m to charity as a result. Zimbabwe-Ireland match ends in a tie. Flintoff stripped of vice-captaincy & barred from playing a game because of binge drinking. This world cup surely is throwing up unexpected outcomes.
While Woolmer, forever to be remembered as the tech-savvy coach, Inzamam(the sleeping giant) & van Bunge have met their nemesis at this world cup, we still have a long way to go. Lets see what more this world cup churns out as surprises.
May Woolmer's soul rest in peace!!!
While Woolmer, forever to be remembered as the tech-savvy coach, Inzamam(the sleeping giant) & van Bunge have met their nemesis at this world cup, we still have a long way to go. Lets see what more this world cup churns out as surprises.
May Woolmer's soul rest in peace!!!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
He and She II
"I won't go out with u"
"Why"
"U are a stranger"
"What do u mean? We know each other for so long"
"Well, men are always strangers"
"I thought it was the other way round. Men are simple. Its women who are capable of mood swings for every occasion. Even the creator is at a loss"
"How dare you? I knew you dont care. I told you, You are a stranger"
And I wondered aloud "lucky that I still am a stranger to you"
"Why"
"U are a stranger"
"What do u mean? We know each other for so long"
"Well, men are always strangers"
"I thought it was the other way round. Men are simple. Its women who are capable of mood swings for every occasion. Even the creator is at a loss"
"How dare you? I knew you dont care. I told you, You are a stranger"
And I wondered aloud "lucky that I still am a stranger to you"
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
He and She !!!
"You going?" I asked her. "Yes" she said. "Don't go, I'll be all alone" I pleaded. But she was not listening. She had made up her mind and nothing I said would make her change her decision.
"Where will u go?" I asked. "Home" she said. "Won't you come back?" I asked. "Don't know. Tomorrow is another day" she said
Yes, I wondered! Tomorrow is another day!
"Where will u go?" I asked. "Home" she said. "Won't you come back?" I asked. "Don't know. Tomorrow is another day" she said
Yes, I wondered! Tomorrow is another day!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Another one falls in the pit!
Another girl fell into a 60 feet deep pit yesterday. Unfortunately she did not survive till the rescue teams reached the place. Am wondering how all of a sudden so many of them have started falling into pits and that too so deep ones. Before Prince falling, which was made into a national event by the media, never heard of anyone else with such an experience. But after the Prince event, there seems to be a spate of young people taking a dive. Katni, Ujjain, somewhere in Bihar etc etc. Not all of them were lucky to survive. Makes me wonder if its the media celebrity status which Prince got is what makes all of them try to imitate him. Or the financial assistance which he got is driving them. Whatever the reason, why do we have such deep open pits in inhabitable areas?
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Why dont we write letters anymore?
With the advent of emails I stopped writing letters almost 10 years back. Even my mom does not write anymore. She calls the relatives and friends. But I still do believe that letters are definitely more personalised. The attached image tries to convey that very message.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
"If u love someone"
THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....
THE NEW VERSIONS ARE.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back .
Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why .
Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ..
If she doesn't come back,
continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat ...
C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom
Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve .
Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable
anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK !
Over possessive person :
If you love someone
don't set her free.
MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist :
If you love someone set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy .
Somnabulist:
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market
American President:
If you love someone
Set her free
If she comes back she must be carrying weapons of mass destruction, so attack Iraq
If she doesn't, its the work of Osama so attack Afghanistan
Elton John's Version:
Love your love in such a way
That she finds no better place than your heart to stay,
But if she still manages to slip away
Sorry mate, its time to turn 'Gay' !!!
And finally, what I think...
If you love someone
Give your heart away,
If she loves you, she'll never go,
If she does, she never was yours anyway!!!
If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....
THE NEW VERSIONS ARE.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back .
Suspicious:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why .
Impatient:
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
If you love someone, Set her free ..
If she doesn't come back,
continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful
If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
set her free again, repeat ...
C++ Programmer:
if(you-love(m_she))
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom
Biologist :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve .
Statisticians :
If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming
back is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable
anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK !
Over possessive person :
If you love someone
don't set her free.
MBA :
If you love someone set her free instantaneously
and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist :
If you love someone set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy .
Somnabulist:
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist :
If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market
American President:
If you love someone
Set her free
If she comes back she must be carrying weapons of mass destruction, so attack Iraq
If she doesn't, its the work of Osama so attack Afghanistan
Elton John's Version:
Love your love in such a way
That she finds no better place than your heart to stay,
But if she still manages to slip away
Sorry mate, its time to turn 'Gay' !!!
And finally, what I think...
If you love someone
Give your heart away,
If she loves you, she'll never go,
If she does, she never was yours anyway!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
