Importance of Stamina!!!

"Did you go to the gym"

"Nope! I've been missing gym for some days now"

"Thats bad! You shouldn't do that. Women want men who have good stamina"

"Stamina! For what?"

"Didn't u see Cheeni Kum? How Tabu tests Amitabh's stamina"

"Oh come on. He was 64. I'm less than even half his age"

"But but still. Whats the harm if u develop better stamina. Women get impressed"

"Hmmm... I didnt know that so much goes into wooing women. I think its better to get married to a guy"

"My husband also says the same thing :). Women are complicated"

Innocence!!!

"What will you have for breakfast?"
"Anything. Whatever you give me". The eyes had so much innocence.
"Have you ever tasted Maggi?"
"No"
"Fine, have maggi today"

Next day...

"I liked Maggi. Will you give me again today!!!"

Still the eyes filled with innocence.......

Where the Land meets the Sea!!!

This Sunday was the typical family Sunday which started with lunch at 'Samrat'(Churchgate) and then a trip to the Gateway of India. We also visited Nariman Point & Worli seaface to witness the amazing sight of the fury of the sea with waves lashing against the high walls of the shores. Some snaps which I managed with my cell phone



The gateway has been closed for the monsoons so you can only view it from the promenade

The Taj overlooking the sea

Amitabh Unplugged!!!

Was watching ' Don' , the original one, a few days back and couldn't miss the cheeky one liners which used to be the hallmark of most Bachhan movies. Started thinking of all the one liners which have made his movies a treat to watch. Some of them I could recollect -

The Numero Uno -
"Aaj mere paas bangla hai, gadi hai, bank balance hai, tumhaare paas kya hai? "
" Mere paas maa hai!"

The Close Second -
" Aaj khush to bahut hoge tum" Amitabh entering the temple for the first time in life to pray for his mother's life.

Equally Memorable -
"Bhai tum sign karoge ki nahin"
"Jao pehle us aadmi ka sign leke aao ........."

Lots of Self Respect -
" Main aaj bhi pheke hue paise nahin leta"

All the above from the landmark 'Deewar' and have assumed near cult status.

Principles Never Compromised -
" Yeh mera usool hai ki main ghar mein ghus ke hi maarta hoon"
From Shaan

Who Am I -
"Rishtey mein to hum tumhaare baap lagte hai, naam hai Shahenshah"

Who Am I again -
"Vijay Deenanath Chauhan. Baap ka naam Deenanath Chauhan"
This one from Agneepath is memorable for the the dialogue delivery and execution.

Who were they -
"Ek woh chaar they aur ek aap chaar ho"
From Sharaabi

And there are so many of them. Please add up to the list.

Still Searching!!!

My orkut fortune of the day -

" You and your wife will live a happy life together!!!"

But where's my wife? Probably orkut knows better where to find her. :)

Nonsense Talk!

Do you know what was the menu at mine and your dad's marriage

No. Did u'll invite me to the wedding

Looks like we missed inviting you. Where were you at that time?

Dont remember. Will tell you once I recall :)

Driving in Bangalore / India

Inspired by the DreamCatcher's post on Traffic jams in Bangalore, I thought of throwing some additional insights on driving in India.

This hilarious article was written by a Dutchman who spent two years in Bangalore, India, as a visiting expert.

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar , where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer.

Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is 'both'. Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction.

Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back.

Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an
automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often 'mopped' off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a 'speed breaker'; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes.

Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.

Time Flies!!!

Without realising it, I completed 2 years with the organisation on May 16. A mail in the morning from the Global Risk Head & President brought me to the realisation. Phew! Time is deceptive. On some occasions it takes ages for a moment to pass while on others it just flies by. This is what my big bosses wrote to me -

"Congratulations on completing 2 years with FT. All the best. You have been doing a splendid job with us - thanks for all the good work. What else should we be doing to ensure you retire from here?"

Retire from here!!! Too optimistic boss. But let me list out a few things which may lure me -

1. Stock Otptions - $10 millions
2. How about a Rolls? A Lamborghini or BMW will also do?
3. A holiday house in Bahamas or Geneva. Even Mauritius will do.
4. A 10 bedroom sea-facing apartment at Juhu.
5. Atleast a million dollars in bonuses every year.
6. Another million a year in salary.
6. Five premium club memberships.
7. A week's paid holiday every six months to any detination worldwide.

I think I'll stop at it now. The list will become too long. These are just some of the things which will ensure that I retire from here :)